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Saturday, April 3rd, 2010

(3 put to sleep | become my dog)

Time:12:17 am.
You got under my skin, kid, what can I say? And now you're eating away at my innards like a fucking parasite and I haven't even seen you in days. You disappeared, deep into my chest, my insides passing through you as you devour them whole. Digesting my guts. You made my heart into your POOP!

Thursday, November 26th, 2009

(2 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:i just realized.....
Time:1:02 am.
Mood: tired.
while looking back at my old posts i realized 2 things;

thing the 1st: I used to be really depressing!

thing 2: I fucking had a pager until mid 2004!!!!!!!!

thats tits man...tits

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

(become my dog)

Subject:beeeeer postttttt
Time:12:20 am.
Mood: discontent.
i don't believe that anything is truly beautiful unless it means something. I wish you didn't mean anything, maybe i would be able to sleep without medicating. Maybe i wouldn't dream of you every time i put my sober head on my pillow. I don't do that anymore. I haven't seen more than a glimpse of you in months, but i remember your face like it was yesterday. No matter how many times i tell people that i don't ever want to see your face again, i keep trying...now my cat just shit on the carpet right next to me....how the fuck do you clean shit out of a carpet?.....fitting......

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

(8 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:one more show left....
Time:7:42 pm.
I feel kinda bad saying this, but i really don't want to go home now. This might be the last time i get to do something like this (hopefully not, but i don't know how long it's going to take to find a vocalist for the metal band) and now it's back to working a dead end job for who knows how long...probably until my body collapses and i die. LOL. As soon as i get back my entire tax returns are going to tattoos, and i'm serious this time...i have big plans, even a broken down car will not stop me. I'm sitting in a hotel room right outside of St. Louis right now, watching tv, hanging out with a bunch of sweet people. When i get home it's back to basically sitting around by myself. But i think i'm finally motivated to start writing some music, we'll see though, i tend to get lazy when i'm actually in the position to do something. I've got about 4 different bands i want to start...and i want to do vocals for at least a couple. we'll see if i can find anyone to be in on this with. It's going to be really strange going from a month of only being alone when i'm in the shower or usually when i go to the bathroom to being alone pretty much all the time. I do miss home a bit though, we'll see if i still feel that way in 4 days when i'm actually there. I guess this is enough rambling for now, but when i get home someone is going to have to come with me on a "find a girlfriend day" hahaha, too much reggie and the full effect.

comment







do it.

Thursday, April 5th, 2007

(5 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:tooled off in the desert
Time:3:48 pm.
Mood: good.
So far this tour i've gone from staying in a squat spot in madison wisconsin to staying at a mansion in las vegas. Lots of free food and beer everywhere. Lots of van problems and expensive food everywhere as well. I've slept on 2 couches. one was comfortable...one was a love seat and hurt a lot. The rest of the time i sleep on the floor. The shows have mostly been pretty small. In two days i'll be in redlands california...that show is supposed to be pretty big. So far Omaha has been probably the best show...denver was the best city. Vegas didn't live up to what i thought it would. lost money. didn't see any tubes other than the prostitute cards that are laying around everywhere. Then again...it was wednesday night...around 2-4 in the morning while we were on the strip. A lot of things weren't active or whatever. It's fun though. Seems like there is just a lack of promotion on the part of the venues and promoters out here. Slack asses. Long drives and hot hot weather. A lot of empty space makes the drives a bit boring. The mountains were cool for a day or so, after that i was about done with them. Luckily we're traveling with really cool people. Anyway...i'm about to get some food.

i miss everyone. and my bed. i'm having fun though, beats the shit out of work.

that is all.

Sunday, March 18th, 2007

(3 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:Disasterpiece Theatre......Watch it go!
Time:1:20 am.
Mood:hungover.
*edit* WOOOOOOAOAAAAAAAAOOAOAAAAH!!!!!!

Sunday, March 11th, 2007

(11 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:it's crunch time
Time:1:28 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
As of the 23rd of this month i will be on tour playing bass for Alucard. It's a west tour and i will be gone until April 20th....try not to miss me too much.

the dates are:

23rd Fenton Michigan
24th Paulding Ohio
25th Urbana Illinois
27th West Dundee Illinois
28th Minneapolis Minnesota
29th Spencer Iowa
30th Omaha Nebraska
31st Denver Colorado
1st Cheyenne Wyoming
6th Madera California
9th Fillmore California
10th Pheonix Arizona
13th Austin Texas
14th Corpus Christi Texas
15th Houston Texas
18th University City Missouri


i am officially pretty excited

Saturday, March 10th, 2007

(2 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:Do you ever just think...
Time:12:35 am.
Mood: disappointed.
Life should just be better than this.

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

(3 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:this is fucking loveless
Time:2:15 am.
Mood:fight.
i will never put myself in this position again. There isn't a fucking person in the world worth walking through this kind of hell for...i've learned it before but this is the last time. I will not care for one more person that doesn't take it for what it's worth...which is a lot more than i've gotten in years.

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007

(7 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:long ramble post.broken sentence time. how can this be?
Time:1:16 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
I can't do anything until i know...i never do anything until it's a sure thing....i never do anything.i might be leaving soon. for a month. i might let some of you in on it, i might not say a word. doesn't really matter anyway. i'll come back and be right where i am now. except i'll feel it. i expect things to just happen. i get depressed when they don't. fuck. i get depressed when they do. i am sadly the type that needs to be kept in line. boundries and such. i have had none. there are some. in the wrong direction. steering myself the right way is like trying to turn a big rig into a motorcycle parking spot. i'd rather be numb. i've never been as confident as i have been in the last few days...i've also never been as medicated. go figure. i need to be tied down, but no one can spare the rope. i've got plenty. too bad everyone is already hanging. i have just enough time before i go to work to take another round of meds so that i don't have to slap a fake smile on my face for all the people and pretty girls that come in to my store and see the carwreck that is my life. I just woke up. i shouldn't be feeling like this. nothing has happened. i went out last night and had a good time...i woke up this morning and i didn't even feel like shit. physically anway. i finally peeled my mind off of one burden, just to have it slapped onto another. one that isn't ready. i'm about ready. i have people that care. i spend too much time alone. i've dug a hole. everything seems so hard to me. go out and see people, or just stay in and sink into myself. i always make the wrong decision. i almost always have to be drug out of the house. otherwise i'm drugged IN the house.
i'm ALWAYS depressed if i'm alone. it takes me a while to warm up to even the people i see everyday. i'm a nervous wreck over nothing. things are always worse in my mind then when i actually do them. I'm afraid. I will never be more than what i am right now. sorry for the depressing ramble. i'm just in a place right now.

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

(4 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:goddamn it's been so long
Time:2:58 pm.
Mood: gloomy.
i wish i could choke the life out of you like you did to me. I'd rather see you dead than breathing my air. I don't even bother trying not to think about it anymore. I torture myself every chance i get.

Saturday, December 16th, 2006

(4 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:Just so you know
Time:1:50 am.
Mood: drunk.
I've been drinking for the last 12 hours and i was just hoping you knew that nobody will ever care about you as much as i do.





end transmission

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

(6 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:I probably shouldn't even say this
Time:1:24 pm.
but fuck it. I miss you.

Thursday, July 29th, 2004

(8 put to sleep | become my dog)

Time:12:47 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
Well, here i am, in update land. Let's see...Not too much has been going on since last time. I turned 22 on the 18th. Went out to the Outback with Tracy, which was awesome. Then went to D&B with Casey, which was also awesome.

Went to Kentucky for a weekend, that was a long time ago now, but it was a good time. A lot of swimming at the hotel pool, going out to eat. Hanging out at the mall in town. It's good to get away, someti...most of the time.

I have been promoted at work, i now am sales supervisor, i'm getting around 25-30 hours a week, and making either 7.50 or 8 an hour...not sure yet, but as soon as they decide to give it to me, i'm SUPPOSED to be getting back pay for all the time i was training for the position. Let's just hope they stick to their word on that one.

School is going pretty eh these days, i'm slacking off and it shows. I don't know what my problem is in that department.

Not doing a whole lot of stuff...but i've been pretty happy lately. Never running out of money anymore, so that's good...i have been a little stressed out from learning the position and the extra responsibility..followed by school sucking a bit..then the fact that i don't sleep as much because i have a lot of opening shifts and i still live like i don't have to get up early. Hence, my 2 days off a week i usually spend sleeping until 3.

I (as always) have so many things that i want to buy but do not have the money for. And i don't know which ones to make priority. But i think i'm closer now than i have been in forever. So i just have to stop buying food and save some money. OUTSTANDING PLAN!

I guess that's all i have to say for now, too much boring makes people bored.

Thursday, January 22nd, 2004

(3 put to sleep | become my dog)

Time:2:32 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
i don't want to jinx anything, but this winter has been the shortest one i can remember. I'm not depressed by it at all. I was so worried that it would be like last winter where i just couldn't get out of it. But for some reason everything seems to be pretty awesome. I still can't wait until that first warm day, where the snow is melting and you can actually feel the sun when it's out. and there is that smell...that's going to be so great. I can't wait for the freedom to go outside whenever and not feel like going somewhere is a huge chore or something i have to prepare for. And everyone will be home from school and trips to royal oak will be in order. I miss summer more than any other year i think...but not in a depressed way, in an excited way. I have a feeling there is going to be a lot to do. We'll make stuff to do. Road trips upon road trips. After going to cleveland for that show, i've realized just how easy that would be...just to leave for a little bit, it doesn't take as much planning as i thought it would. i don't know why i expected it would. Hopefully by then i'll have a sweet job or apprenticeship in a studio or something and be making decent money, cause with what i'm making now, it takes me and hour and a half to make enough to see a movie. FUCK THAT. hmm....i just remembered something, nevermind some of that stuff i guess. Hmmm...it should still be a decent summer. I'm hungry.

I have to go get my check and cash this one and the last one, hopefully this one will be better. I owe my dad 40 dollars...i wish i just owed him a 40. that's a lot cheaper.

I don't know what else to say, so i guess i'm just going to get some food.

Saturday, January 17th, 2004

(4 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:hello
Time:1:26 pm.
i don't know how to do livejournal cuts....so you're all going to have to deal with this. HA.


first grade teacher's name: MR. MALBUFF, THAT GUY WAS AWESOME.
last word you said: I JUST GOT UP, I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE SAID A WORD TODAY.
last song you sang: BRAND NEW - THE QUIET THINGS THAT NO ONE EVER KNOWS
last person you hugged: TRACY
last thing you laughed at: I DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY, PROBABLY SOMETHING TRACY SAID
last time you said 'I love you': PROBABLY A COUPLE DAYS AGO TO MY MOM
what's in your cd player: WHAT CD PLAYER...I DON'T HAVE ONE...IF I DID, IT WOULD BE ALKALINE TRIO OR BRAND NEW
what color socks are you wearing: NONE
what's under your bed: A LOT OF LITTLE STUFF, YET NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE MY ROOM IS STILL WAY TO CROWDED
what time did you wake up today: 1:15ISH

future
where do you want to go: ATLANTA, OR WHEREVER I GUESS
what is your career going to be: I HOPE A RECORDING ENGINEER, OR A SNIPER, HAHA, BUT PROBABLY MANAGER OF A SPENCER GIFTS SOMEWHERE
where are you going to live: WHEREVER IT ISN'T LAME LIKE HERE
how many kids do you want: NO THANKS, I THINK I'LL HAVE CEREAL TODAY
what kind of car will you have: AN ESCALADE...OR A BEAT UP OLD TOYOTA
current taste: MMM...MORNING
current hair: MMM....MORNING HAIR
current clothes: MY "PAJAMAS"
current annoyance: THIS IS A FIRST...YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE SHOCKED....NOTHING IS ANNOYING ME RIGHT NOW.
current smell: THE USUAL SMELL OF MY HOUSE
current longing: TO BE ALL SET WITH SCHOOL AND JOBS AND STUFF, SO I CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO FAIL AT LIFE.
current desktop picture: CRAZY SCENERY PICTURE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE.
current favorite artist: ALKALINE TRIO/BRAND NEW
current book: I HAVEN'T READ A BOOK IN SO LONG
current worry: WORKING AT SPENCER FOREVER
current time-wasting wish: THERE MAY BE TOO MANY OF THOSE
current hate: CAN'T THINK OF ONE RIGHT NOW, I'M IN A PEACEFUL MOOD OR SOMETHING.

story behind your lj username: IT'S AN ANCIENT MYTH THAT IF YOU WALKED DOWN TO THE TIGRIS RIVER AT MIDNIGHT, ON THE LAST DAY OF THE SUMMER SOLSTICE, A GIANT FIGURE WOULD APPEAR BEFORE YOU...AND HE WOULD SAY....OH WAIT...NO, IT'S MY INITIALS.
current favorite article of clothing: MY ALKALINE TRIO HOODIE!!!!!!
favorite physical feature of the opposite sex: THAT'S TOUGH, I LIKE A LOT OF THINGS.
last cd that you bought: I DON'T KNOW WHY I DON'T REMEMBER THAT...I THINK IT WAS GODDAMMIT.
favorite place to be: COUCHBEDTHINGY
strong in mind or strong in body: HOW ABOUT A LITTLE OF BOTH...IT'S POSSIBLE YOU KNOW.
time you wake up in the morning: DEPENDS IF I HAVE TO WORK OR NOT.
if you could play any instrument, what would it be: WELL, I ALREADY PLAY GUITAR AND BASS...I THINK I WOULD PICK DRUMS AS LONG AS THAT DIDN'T CANCEL OUT THE ONES I ALREADY KNOW.
favorite color: THAT'S HARD...PROBABLY BLUE...UNLESS I CAN PICK BLACK AND RED.
do you believe in an afterlife? YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!
how tall are you? 5'9"
current favourite word: I PROBABLY HAVE ONE, I JUST DON'T KNOW.
favorite book: THE OUTSIDERS! HAHAHA, SINCE 7TH GRADE...I NEED TO READ SOMETHING ELSE I THINK.
favorite season: I WOULD SAY SPRING, BUT THAT JUST ISN'T LONG ENOUGH, SO SUMMER.
one person from your past you would bring back to talk to: I'M NOT GOING TO PICK JUST ONE.
favorite day: IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL ANYMORE, MY SCHEDULE IS SO RANDOM, I NEVER KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS...SO BASICALLY, ANY DAY I EITHER HAVE A DAY OFF OR DON'T HAVE TO WORK WITH JOE IS A PRETTY SWEET DAY.
type
Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it: 'WARNING:THIS EQUIPMENT HAS BEEN TESTED AND FOUND TO COMPLY WITH THE LIMITS FOR A CLASS B DIGITAL DEVICE, PURSUANT TO PART 15 OF THE FCC RULES' OWW, I THINK I GOT A PAPERCUT PUTTING THAT BOOK BACK.
a line from the last thing you wrote to someone: "I LOVE THEIR SAUSAGE AND PANCAKES!"
a random lyric: IT TAKES MORE TIME THAN I'VE EVER HAD, DRAINS THE LIFE FROM ME, MAKES ME WANT TO FORGET. AS YOUNG AS I WAS, I FELT OLDER BACK THEN, MORE DISCIPLINED, STRONGER AND CERTAIN. BUT I WAS SCARED TO DEATH OF ETERNITY, I WAS SAVED BY GRACE BUT DESTROYED BY NAIVITY, AND I LIE TO MYSELF, AND SAY IT'S FOR THE BEST.

Saturday, January 10th, 2004

(5 put to sleep | become my dog)

Time:2:20 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
ok....here's the deal...when you tell your stalkers your life story..you can leave me and my girlfriend out of it.

It's funny how everything comes right to me, i don't even have to try to hear any of it. You probably have no idea what i'm talking about, but just keep your fucking mouth shut.

Friday, January 9th, 2004

(16 put to sleep | become my dog)

Subject:After the tobacco industry....comes the manager at D&Bs
Time:1:47 am.
Mood: drunk.
Man, i figured if i was going to get cut off at the bar...i would at least be stumbling and incoherant....and i figured that day would never come. Either way, i was cut off tonight, because this guy figured...hey, 2 drinks in an hour?????? you guys must be crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what an ass.

So now i'm sitting here...it was a good night i must say, but what the hell. anyway........i'm looking for a new job, and after my performance at the shooting game at dave and busters, i might become a sniper...hahaha, i wish...i did really well though, i got about 13 of 15 out of 2 tries. i think that's pretty effing sweet. I don't know if that mathmatically makes sense...but that chances of me caring are about as good as the chances of me missing a target at 4 feet. NOT SO GOOD!

i have a good 6 minutes left to finish this, and i'm going to do as bad of a job as i can!!!!!!

I'm such a killer...and a pirate ninja..fuck you trendy fucks..i've always been a pirate...and i'm drunk enough to prove it right now. come sword fight me. i hear hot topic sells swords now....so you have no excuse...prostate toucher

ok..this is getting out of hand....i just want to say that i am good at finding stray tokens and tickets, so if you are in need...i am of service. thank you and good night





I don't know if i'm supposed to remember what you said or forget...so i'll leave it up to chance! Either way, you're awesome




ok...2 minutes and tomorrow will be here. cause i know as soon as i go to sleep, i'll be awake again...sure the clock and the sun will have changed...but damnit, i won't know!!!!! or something.



ok, i'm done

Wednesday, January 7th, 2004

(9 put to sleep | become my dog)

Time:12:52 pm.
I never update anymore

Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

(20 put to sleep | become my dog)

Time:12:15 pm.

How evil are you?

LiveJournal for Bosco Stifferemonda.

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